There Is
by morning-star24
Summary: Years after Will and Lyra depart, Lyra discovers two people from Will’s world and is determined to help them back and also to be with Will again. Please review! :


It was midsummer's day, and Lyra sat on her familiar wooden bench in the Botanic garden, with Pantaliamon curled quietly in her lap. Three full years since the window connecting her to Will had closed forever, she sat on that bench, as she and Will had both promised they would do, every midsummer's day for an hour or so. Lyra could never plan on missing it. The garden was her favourite spot to sit and think without being bothered by someone from St. Sophia's. Her bench was under a spreading, low-branched tree, and the gardens around her were young and untamed. The grass around her chirped and hummed with the life of a thousand insects under the afternoon heat.

"Pan, if you could guess, what do you think Will and Kirjava are thinking, right at this moment?"

"Maybe they're guessing what we're thinking?" replied Pan, sleepily.

"Oh, Pan...I still miss him so much…." Lyra sighed

She didn't want to think about it. She wished she could just move on, because it would be impossible for them to ever live a life together. Just as impossible as it would be for them so even see each other again. Her next thought was one that had occurred countless times before.

"Do you think we'll ever get to learn how the angels pass through worlds?"

"Maybe, if we ask an angel..." Pan stepped off her lap onto the bench, "but I think it's time we go home, Lyra."

"Just one more minute, Pan." She said, preparing herself to leave. She took one last deep breath… it was almost like breathing in the same air as Will. She knew that Will would be sitting on the same bench in his own world…or at least she hoped_. This is as close to Will I'll ever get_, she thought. Their two worlds were so close, so close that their molecules nearly meshed together. But they would never truly touch. Despite all of that, Lyra still had the flickering hope in her heart that she would learn how to slip through those molecules into Will's Oxford…into Will's arms.

Pantalaimon ran along on the stone walls of the garden back towards the gate, so Lyra regretfully lifted herself off the bench. She stood back and admired the bench, replaying the memory of the last time she and Will sat there, for the thousandth time. She tried to imagine Will looking older than when she was last with him, looking more identical to his father, perhaps. She gave up rather quickly, telling herself it would be much easier if she could just look at him, even for a second...his straight black eyebrows, his eyes, so fierce but so gentle...she longed for his voice, his hands...everything. She never dreamed what love would feel like- honestly she was never really interested until she met Will. Discovering their love was the most amazing feeling…she would never forget any of it- her fingers on Will's lips, passing the little red fruit to his mouth, the thrill and happiness when their lips first brushed together, and the many times after that they would blindly press their faces together in passionate kisses...Oh, and how it felt when Will had stoked Pan's fur...like it was something two lovers would do. She blushed. We _are_ lovers, she thought, but with a painful jolt thought, "were".

She ran back through the garden to the massive stone wall to look for Pan. She searched along the wall, in the bushes, through the passageway into the other gardens, wondering what had gotten into him. Had he forgotten how important it was that they remain close to avoid suspicion?

Maybe Pan is trying to sneak up on me again, she thought, smirking. She pretended she wasn't interested in looking for Pan anymore, and walked quietly through the rest of the gardens- over the iron gate, past the pond with the water fountain. She listened for any sign of him. When a sound did reach her ears, it was the dry crack of a fallen twig. She imagined Pan trying to scamper away before she saw him. She turned around quickly and was about to tell him how terrible he was at his own game, but it wasn't Pan- it was one of the gardeners, who was just barely visible through a thick bush. She thanked goodness that she hadn't yelled and was quiet enough not to be noticed, and ran for the streets as quickly and silently as she could. She stopped at the garden entrance, beginning to feel anxious_. Oh, Pan wouldn't leave me again would he? But he _couldn't_ do that_, she thought. _There are too many people around! If they see one of us without the other they'll be frightened and start rumours! And if any of the girls saw me wandering around without him..._

_S_he hid behind the wall at the gate, pressed her back against it and tried to relax. _He'll come back! He will…of course he will…_

The feeling of claws digging into her back startled her so much that she let out a scream, but quickly muffled it with her hand as she realized the feeling of Pan's soft fur on her neck.

"Pan!" cried Lyra, grabbing ahold of him. "I thought you'd left me again."

Pan purred in reply, cuddling close in her arms.

"You wouldn't leave me again, would you?"

"No… I promise."

Lyra was reminded that Pan had yet to tell her what he and Kirjava were doing in the land of the _mulefa, _while she and Will searched for them. Hiding, of course. But what else...exploring, maybe? And what were they doing the moment the little red fruit had reached Will's lips? Playing? She was curious, but she didn't intend on asking. The Lyra who didn't know Will would have, but she had learned things from him that she didn't even realize, so she kept herself quiet and respected the fact that Pan kept secrets from her. It was only fair...after all, it was like murder to abandon him on the shores of the dead...Oh, it was so awful. Knowing that she had put Pan through the same pain as her own was even worse...a metaphorical fishing hook had torn her heart until it was nearly impossible to breath. It was such a powerful emotional pain that it was impossible to tell it apart from physical pain. And in that little old boat, Will was all she had to hold on to, other than the old, rotting boat man working the oars...but she would have shocked herself had she done that. Through all the tears and pain of losing part of their souls, Will and Lyra had acquired a part of each other. They shared a hope, an energy, an experience. They shared thoughts, feelings, love. A strong, irreplaceable love.

Lyra stepped out on to the sidewalk, still clinging to Pan, and began her journey back to St. Sophia's for the remainder of her class. Lyra never had the best attendance record, which resulted in her enrollment into a summer course at St. Sophia's (which she happened to be skipping to be at the garden). Although she knew she was being irresponsible, out of all things she wouldn't miss midsummer's day. Plus, she was still most quick-witted when making excuses to why she was not in class. It usually involved helping out the Master at Jordan College or doing chores for Ma Costa on the river. Her stories were always bought, so Lyra was content. Although she knew schooling was important, a part of her still wanted to wander instead of listen to lectures. However, there was one subject she desperately wanted to learn more about. Unfortunately, she was forced to sacrifice her alethiometer lesson to be in the garden, and being the only pupil, Lyra was sure Dame Hannah had worked up a temper.

"There was a bat in my dorm room, and nobody could help! It took all night to get it out, and I only woke an hour ago… Please, Dame Hannah, you know I wouldn't miss this class on purpose…"Lyra explained, looking truly sorry.

Dame Hannah sighed. "All right. But you must not miss another class. I would not like to be the one to punish you, Lyra." The red sunlight pouring into the room lit up her expression of disapproval, with her pointed nose and graying hair, which was drawn into a tight bun.

"Well, I suppose you should be heading home- you are staying at Jordan tonight, are you not?" She asked, gathering her papers.

"Yes, ma'am," said Lyra, bowing and backing out of the room. "Good night Dame Hannah."

During her walk home, Lyra witnessed a strange sight- nothing stranger that what met her eye in other worlds, but something strange enough for Oxford. She found a couple walking aimlessly around in circles in the park beside the college, as if they were searching for something very important in a forest of imaginary bushes.

"Excuse me," said Lyra loudly, hoping to be of help but startling them quite a bit. One of the two was a girl that looked to be seventeen. She had long brown hair and bright blue eyes, and her daemon...her daemon was no where to be found. She grabbed her partner, who was a man of about the same age, who was tall with dark hair and green eyes, also missing a daemon.

They looked to each other nervously, as if asking each other who would be the one to respond to this stranger.

Lyra was clever enough not to ask about their daemons in case they panicked- she wanted to know more about them, and where they came from. _Could they be witches? Perhaps they have news from Serafina…although they aren't dressed to be witches…maybe they've been severed_…She shuddered at the thought.

"Where are you from?" asked Lyra, kindly.

The couple anxiously searched the other's eyes as if in silent communication. Finally, they came to an unspoken decision.

"We're from Oxford," the man began. "…but not this Oxford."

Lyra felt her heart seize. She didn't want to believe it, but unless this was all a big joke, these people were from another world.

The look on Lyra's face gave them the idea that she thought they were insane, but she soon came to her senses and asked them what they were looking for. She looked to the ground and began searching for anything the couple may have dropped.

The man replied, "A space in the air. A window. I don't know. But we need to find it…"

Lyra looked at them, daring to believe it. A window. Here. In Oxford.


End file.
